Boycott The Peter
by bemyxluckyxcharm
Summary: You are about to enter the magical world of Degrassi parodies. The intense drama of Degrassi: The Next Generation overshadows all the truths behind it. You will find out why JT is emo, why Peter's penis is tini and why Manny can't say cocaine.
1. Here Comes Your Stripper pt 1

You are about to enter the magical world of Degrassi parodies. The intense drama of Degrassi: The Next Generation overshadows all the truths behind it. In these parodies, you will figure out why JT is emo, why Peter has a tini penis, and why Manny can't say cocaine.

Writers:  
Mary  
Jesse  
Bri  
Max  
Bree

Inspirers:  
Rebecca

Disclaimer: None of us own Degrassi.

We will be parodying episodes of Degrassi, in no particular order. Episodes won't be posted in a big jumble more as a few parts at a time into posts. So, sit back and enjoy the parodies of Degrassi: The Next Generation.

**Parody 1: Here Comes Your Stripper**

"I just love it here the expensive drinks and martini's turn me on," Emma said walking beside Peter and his pimp dad. He looks like he'd own the playboy mansion, makes sense for Peter's extreme belittling of women. Perhaps Peter is actually homosexual, what other guy at Degrassi would get Manny Santos to reveal her boobs and yet didn't end up sleeping with her? Obviously Manny didn't refuse, because well..she's a big hoe, so Peter must be gay. Or he's like JT and was ashamed of his tini penis. Its actually probably smaller than JT's because Peter sucks. Hard.

A man drives up in a shiny blue convertible, its obvious that this is Peter's dad's gay lover. Ms.HotSauce is like Ms.Slutos, there is no logical reason for a man to divorce her since men are pigs, anyways Peter and his dad are homosexuals; that's the end of that.

"Dad whats Fabritzio doing in that car its not yours.." Peter looks at Fabritzio and plans to shoot him with his poisonous darts, but doesn't. There are too many witnesses right now.

"I know son, its yours," He hands Peter the keys, and they hold hands for a moment. This once again supports the fact that they are both gay. Men do not show affection, straight men don't, they are gay so there. Then they hug..need I say more?

"Oh geez Peter this car, it makes up for your tini tiny penis!" Emma jumps up and down excitedly. Now instead of having to endure sex with Peter, they can drive around all day,  
"what did you say?" Peter asked being profound for once.  
"I said it..makes up for the..cheese..cause there was no..cheese..here..today..Weee" Emma says, oh it is a fun day. Fabritzio remained in the car since he's Hispanic and had no idea what they were saying.

"Hay un fiesta en mi pantalones," Fabritzio winked at Emma and she blushed but instead of accepting there was a squirrel in his pants she slapped him and hid behind a fern. Emma likes ferns, they're plants and apparently they're all in danger or whatever.

"Get the out of my car you ing burrito!" Peter then kunfu-ed Fab in the face, this is about the only cool thing Peter ever does. Ever. In Life. Actually Fab gracefully got out of the car, that was only a daydream of Peter's. HAHA Peter you will never do anything cool in real life. What a silly thought. Peter starts the engine and whispers under his breath, "..I'll get you one day Fabritzio..ONE DAY!" He peels out and Emma runs jumping in the air flapping her hands like a bird. She leaps into the car, face planted in the seat. Peter conviently sees an opportunity to get a feel of Emma, even though he's gay. Peter slaps Emma's ass, she of course hates this because its painful and well..Peter did it. If it would have been Sean or Jay or even Manny, sure it'd be all fine and dandy but Peter?…n-no..

"Cant believe this car's mine, it reminds me of when I used to play with my toy cars!" Peter exclaims. His exclaiming leads Emma to worry, "Is my boyfriend 5 years old?"

"I'm the luckiest guy in the world," Peter leans in to kiss Emma. However, Emma finds Peter completely revolting, so she stomps her foot on the gas pedal and jumps out of the car, which causes her to spin on the ground. She gets up only to notice Sean standing by some ice cream van-thingy. She, however, doesn't seem to care about Peter's car crashing into a cliff.

"Emma?" Sean looks surprised. Emma notices Jay standing next to him. Jay is licking his ice cream cone. Emma runs up to him and pushes Sean out of the way.

Emma stands there for a few seconds. Jay looks puzzled. Emma eyes the ice cream. "GIMME THAT!" Emma steals it. She runs away and sits down to eat it smiling.

Sean comes up to her "I'm staying with Jay," he says.

"Easy Brokeback Moutain," Jay says with a smirk. This lead Sean to believe Jay was attracted to him. As we all know, Sean believes he is attractive. Emma just sits there eating her ice cream with a smile.

Sean stands there. "Emma will you talk to me?" Sean tries to take the ice cream away from her. Emma throws a fit.

"NO! MINE! MY ICE CWEAM..MINE!!" Emma sobs until Sean gives it back to her.

Peter gets out from the wreckage on the cliff. He walks over, bruised and scratched. "What the ?!? Just jump out of a moving vehicle! I almost died you !"

Emma sits there smiling with her ice cream and says "Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I'M LOVING IT!"

Avril Lavigne stands next to Emma and hits her in the head. "You don't represent McDonald's, poser," Avril says.

"Oh..._I'm_ the poser? you, you aren't even punk...you have no idea what "punk" is. Dumbass." Emma says. Avril stands there for about 5 seconds until she runs off in tears.

Emma quickly changes the topic, realizing Sean's lust for her, "Sean, this is Peter...my boyfriend," Angie then comes up to Emma and licks her ice cream.

"YOU LITTLE SLUT!" Emma chases her around until Angie whips out her Barbie suitcase.

Emma gasps "OOOh BARBIE SUITCASE!" Emma and Angie rejoice.

The show cuts to Maisy. Bri sits at her home looking at the television.

"What the . Who is this little slut mouse? ING MUTE MOUSE!" Bri says as she mutes her TV.

The show cuts back as the terrible new credits for Season 6 go on. The entire audience looks at these new opening credits and think to themselves "This is **so** gay."


	2. Here Comes Your Stripper pt 1 pt 2

**_Continued_**

"Ms.Kerwin you're looking' fine!" Ashley approaches Jimmy and Spinner, smacking Spinner on the butt with her purse. Obviously Ash is after one thing and one thing only. A threesome with Jimmy, Spinner and herself, what a hoe.

"Hey queen bee, spare some honey?" Darcy immediately forgives Spinner for cheating on her with his ex then using that old nickname on her. WOW, nice move Darcy..ing retard.

"YO DUDES I HAVE A CAR AREN'T I SPECIAL?" Peter announces in the parking lot. Manny simply walks up to him,  
"No." And gives him a swift slap across the face.

"But mommy said I was special…" Peter went wrong right there, Manny hates moms, that's why she didn't want to be one and aborted her baby like a slut.

"Your mother is a hooker SHE HAS HERPES." Replied Manny as she flipped her hair and pranced away.

"Hey look its Sean I bet his penis is bigger than yours!" Emma squeals like a little preppy girl and runs to see Sean, and his amazing larger penis. She is excited.

"MANNY GET OUT OF MY PANTS!" Sean screams at the top of his lungs, Sean dislikes rape.

"Let me see NOW" Manny whines like a 5.230943 year old, that wants penis.

Sean shakes his head and says, "NO HOE!" So Manny stops. Since everything Sean says goes, cause his penis is best. 10 points for you Sean, you get the house cup!

They travel to media immersion, so that everyone can check out Sean and his sexyness. Whispers all around the room, "I Bet his penis is HUGE.." Even Mr.Simpson recognizes Sean has this huge-penis aura around him. 

Emma stared at Sean. For some reason, Emma felt that her and Sean once were dating, this was never confirmed however. Once Emma gave Jay a blowjob, she lost all her memory.

Immediately, Sean stared back at Emma. Obviously this meant Emma had sent out psychic vibrations when she got taught how to do them by Ashley.

Sean nodded. Emma didn't know why, she thought it was attractive however. Sean also thought it was attractive of himself. This made him believe Emma was attracted to him, of course she was. So now it seemed Sean was stuck between two lovers, Emma and Jay.

"What do you think about…Medival Lit?" Marco asked Ellie. Ellie has obviously no idea what the Marco was talking about. It was most likely something about going to Africa or something. Then, Marco and Dylan somehow fought about Hockey Art. Ellie was confused about the entire subject. I don't think Ellie knows what art is.

Marco didn't want Dylan's hockey art. Marco wanted to paint his own painting..of…a gorilla. Because gay people are sensitive. Paige was sitting on the couch being a fat ass. She drank some coffee. That was Paige in this episode. Apparently, after Paige left Degrassi Hazel just dissolved. Oh well. Paige wanted a party. Since Paige was sitting on the couch, she obviously couldn't throw one herself. Paige liked parties. She played Pin-The-Tail-On-The-Donkey because she thought it was hot.

Paris Hilton also like Pin-The-Tail-On-The-Donkey because it was "hot", of course, Paris thinks everything's "hot".

Marco then said "Sweet Mother Mary this is mud!" Marco said this because he is gay. The monster under Marco's bottom lip caused him to act so gay.

Peter was then playing with his car. Emma was helping him. What they were doing, the audience does not know. I think they were putting together a puzzle of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street. In fact, when Peter got his "ride pimped", he had a TV placed on the dashboard so he could watch Sesame Street whenever he wanted. Emma was confused about her boyfriend's obsession over Bert and Ernie's sex life.

Sean liked Emma. Sean liked to drag race. Peter liked to wear drag. The end. As we saw in an earlier episode that I'm sure you all remember, Peter once said "I wanna put on a tight skirt, and flirt with a stranger."

Emma giggled like a mouse, so Manny hits Sean. This is because…Sean has a big penis. Sean wanted to drag race or something so he had Peter come with him…I don't know I wasn't really paying attention.

Emma then said something about China. Was Emma on drugs? To this day, it is believed Emma is an alcoholic. Silly Emma. Back on track, Emma said something about China. This is because Emma cares about the environment. Apparently, she is launching a program to clean Bejing's ravine. It is unknown if Emma will be giving someone a blowjob or actually cleaning this ravine. What the hell is a ravine anyway? Is it a forest? Because that's what it looks like dammit.

Some scary music plays. It was once a spoiler that Hazel sang this music, unfortunately, Hazel dissolved many months ago. There were a bunch of people playing with their cars, too. Peter liked this, of course Peter had sexual relations with all of these people. This is because Peter is a slut. Alex was sitting on a car or something. This led Sean to believe she was attracted to him.

Emma walked around like a slut. Jay liked it. This is because…Jay has a penis.

Ellie and Marco are sitting at the Dot doing, well we don't really know, its too boring to say. Paige joins them as she walks by Spinner, "Hey Spinner want to have some more meaningless sex tonight?" She asks a smile on her face and 50 bucks in her pocket. That's right, Spinner is actually a male prostitute. Spinner nods lightly as they continue talking about throwing Paige a 'going away party' or something else gay like that. Spinner of course will be the entertainment.

"Be careful hoe!" Peter gets pissed off easily with Jay because he knows Jay is way hotter and his penis is 203948034.3098 times larger than his own. Peter is actually attracted to Jay but shh..don't tell..

Emma knits because she must control herself from running off and having an orgy with Sean and Jay, they're just too damn hot. "I like to knit ITS MAKES ME FEEL GOOD." Sean understands this, he also has a secret passion that makes him feel good, as good as a goat feels when it roams in a newly planted field of grass in the spring. Emma then drops her knitting needles and Sean bends over to pick them up. "DEAR LORD" Emma is shocked! Sean stole Jay's thong! She tugs on the little string "So elastic-y" Manny and Alex spot this, they make a sad face because..well no one knows but its now obvious they're lesbians together. Won't Craig be surprised!

Two Japanease chicks start walking out of Marco&Dylan's apartment..aren't they gay? What the ? The writers just decided to make them straight for a second? I guess gay people can now have straight sex.

Peter creeps up on Emma like the boogy man, Emma hates the boogy man! He's scary. When Emma was little the boogyman would hide under her bed and steal all her slippers. Emma sure did love her slippers, so this deeply depressed her.  
Peter and Emma then go to the dot and discuss Peter's homosexual crush on Sean. They sure do love them some big Sean penis!

We then see Paige's party, Paige and Darcy call each other hoes and all that jazz then an Italian midget runs in and bites Dylan's leg screaming, "MARIO WHERE THE IS LUIGI?!" The midget gleefully rolls on the floor chuckling like Santa Claus on crack. The midget continues to have a siezure and starts shooting out poisonous midget juices. Luckily Marco, being a ninja, had his super-protective ninja stuff.

Sean and Emma drive away "Emma…I have to tell you something.." Of course Emma isn't paying attention, she's knitting a sock for her kitty! The kitty is orange. Emma likes orange kittys because they make her giggle. She giggles to herself, imagining the orange kitty, this makes her look really really gay. Oh well. Sean likes when Emma is gay, she reminds him of a dancing elf and that turns him on. Oh hell yes it does. "Emma, I'm a stripper.."

"W-wha..??" Emma's knitting unravels. The kitty will be sad.

"I like to take off my clothes," Sean admits, "Wiggling, I like to wiggle in thongs..it makes me feel like a shining star!"

Emma found herself even more attracted to Sean now, a stripper with a large penis..her dream come true. Ever since she was a little girl, what'd she ask for for her birthday? A Barbie doll? Barbie Emma wanted a male stripper.

They made out and it was pretty damn hot. Sean bit Emma's lip, he needed a snack and her lip gloss was yummy. 

_Part two coming soon.._


	3. Here Comes Your Stripper pt 2

**_HCYS Part Dos_**

Emma and Sean just made-out. The audience is disappointed. Such a make-out was thought of to be long and full of passion, this was just lip biting and kinda short. Emma mentions that she's not some slut who cheats on her boyfriends. OH REALLY?!? Well don't you remember how you secretly dated Ashley and Manny at the same time? Oh wait…that was Craig. Dammit why do the writers make Emma and Craig so slutty and just like each other?

So yeah, Emma proceeds into her house, I think it was her house, anyway. And then she sees Grimace from McDonald's sitting on her couch smoking pot, she quickly shoo's him from the room, soon realizing Manny was naked on the couch yelling about why Emma shouldn't have shooed Grimace away. Suddenly, the show cuts out.

"RAPE RAPE! GOD DAMNIT AIM IS RAPING ME AGAIN!" Bree slapped her computer.

Max walked over and rubbed his body against hers "I'll give you a lap dance" He winked.

"RAPE RAPE!" She screamed.

Mary ran over in her spiderman costume and covered Max in spider web stuff. "Oooh, kinky!"

"Oh My GAWD!" Jesse giggled like a penguin, "CHEMISTRY IS KINKY!"

The whole audience stares at the TV wondering what the hell they are watching, they thought it was a Japanese Porno, but nobody had swallowed yet so the Asian viewers were disappointed. The show then cuts back to Degrassi, it was the credits, no one really cares about them, they're just there, you know? Like goth kids…they're just there. They really have no significance or anything. The fact that they're there is just…incredibly random.

Marco looks like a little gangster with his hood. Marco, you aren't a gangster. You live in Canada. But Canada is sexy, so…yeah…

OH MAH GAWWWW. Peter in a wife-beater. Umm…let's just skip that part and spare us all the disgust. Let's just boycott it. BOYCOTT THE PETER!

Manny starts talking to Emma at her locker. God, Manny, shut the fck up. You obviously had a hidden camera in the car with Emma and Sean otherwise you wouldn't know they made out, btch. Don't make it so obvious. Emma walks somewhere, all disoriented. She runs in circles. Sean stops her and Emma says homeroom wrong. Is she retarded? Miriam must not know what homeroom is, otherwise she wouldn't have said it wrong.

We then see Marco and Ellie screaming "NASH!" This is because… Marco is gay, and Ellie likes art. They're sensitive. Some dumb fcking btch named Amber-Lee walks upon the setting. WHO THE fck IS NAMED AMBER-LEE! God. Just die already, you sound like Anna Nicole Smith on dope. Oh yeah..she died..never mind, we should probably leave that parody out. Marco says the word "yester-year"..well..I'm not too sure what to parody about here, so…let's just forget about that skank Marco and move on to something better to watch.

Manny talks to Emma about romantic dilemmas, it's obvious Emma sucked Sean's penis. Emma's just worried because she's sure Sean has Herpes, and she might have to tell him he gave her a social disease.

Amber-Lee fcks up Ellie's sht. Bad move, btch. How about you just die. DIE. Go eat a sock. Whore.

Peter drives up to Emma. I'm gonna steal his car. Emma breaks up with him. Uh oh, Spaghetti-O's! Peter then resumes his argument that Sean is a whore and cannot be trusted. He calls Emma a slut…I mean she is, but that's not cool. He says "Could've fooled me" for the second time in this episode. Why do they repeat lines? It sounds so gay. I didn't mean it as gay in the homosexual way...I mean it in the…crackers way…

Emma tells him he didn't have sex with Sean. She really didn't. I know I'm surprised to. But she did suck his penis, it doesn't really count as sex.

Ellie meets Jesse. He's a slut. Of course, my name is Jesse, but I'm much better and sexier than he is…believe it. Jesse has sex with all his interns, so he thinks he's gonna have sex with Ellie. Wait a few episodes, buddy, you'll figure out she ain't going for it.

Cut to Sean. Hotsauce finds a thong in his locker.

"Is this yours?" she asks.

"Yeah, got it from Victoria's Secret…" he admits.

"Meet me in my office, 10 minutes," she says.

Sean waits outside her office, she beeps at her secretary, Geena The Slut, to let Sean in. Of course, by now, Geena's top was already off and she was drunker than all hell. Sean goes into Hotsauce's office where she has her way with him. Unfortunately, she finds pot in his pants, while diving into them, and yells "RAPE!". This sucks for Sean. He's been expelled.

He yells at Emma or some sht. Oh no, Sean said "Go to hell", this is really dramatic for Degrassi's viewing audience, people ages 13-20. God, we can't handle anything worse than "Go to hell". We suck.

Ellie's by Jesse, blah blah blah, she sucks his cock, too. There's something about an article in here somewhere…most likely lost in translation by translating it from Japanese to English, I mean we all know in Japan, this is a porno.

Emma's sitting in the "zen garden", is it still a zen garden? WHY IS THERE A ZEN GARDEN AT A SCHOOL?! They aren't Buddhists or whatever. Her and Peter get back together…I think, did they break-up? I mean, I don't know I have too much weed in my system by now.

Sean is all PMSing and Jay is all like "Hey woah did you take your menstrual medicine?" And of course Sean answers by kicking the trash can because we all know Sean hates Oscar the Grouch. As Sean once said, "fck Oscar the grouch."

Sean and Jay meet Peter at the street race thingy, Jay was obviously sending out psychic vibrations from his penis, so Peter knew he was needed there. Peter tried to act all tough by calling Sean a btch, yeah Peter we know you want Sean to be your btch but obviously your penis is too small Oscar wouldn't even fck you . So there.

While they're racing "A Public Affair" comes on the radio, of course Peter has seen the music video and tries to dance along. Sadly, he cannot for he doesn't have his roller disco short-shorts . He actually left them at Spinner's the other night but shhhhhh don't talk about that …..THE ELVES THEY'RE WATCHIN FROM THE TREES MAN THE TREES.

Well…Oscar's trash can is right on the side of the road. Oscar is popping in and out of the trash can in the most sexual way possible. This turns Sean on, so he gets pissed. No one can know about Sean's fetish for fuzzy green puppets and his fantasies of them. Sean drives to hit the trash can but OH NO MARIO he misses and hits this random guy on the side of the road. We later find out this man was Jerry Springer, Sean's plan to have Jay get his "Jerry beads" didn't quite work since Ms.Hotsauce stole all their Victoria's secret special edition Easter thongs. So Sean knows he must run from the cops.

We see Emma traveling to her room in a little pink Barbie car. As she's backing up it does that "BEEP BEEP BEEP" sound when a old fat person thing backs up in one of those wheelchair things. Sean begins to cry when Emma backs over his toe, "btch what the fck was that for?"

Emma chunked her Barbie suitcase at Sean, "I'm going to candy mountain Seannnnyyy" she said pedophile-ish. Suddenly she leaped out of the car and became sober, that's what we call driving under the influence children if you do, you will get pregnant and die.

"Lets make love at sea world on the back of a killer whale!" Sean loved whales they reminded him of Oscar even though Oscar is a big meanie! Once Oscar pleasured Grimace by touching Jay's hat. Yes, Grimace just likes to watch since he has no reproductive organs. That's what happens when you spend 10 hours a day smoking pot and eating chicken nuggets. Yep, your penis falls off.

So, of course, Emma's Barbie suitcase was filled with assorted flavored condoms. Well…I think you get the point. Emma and Sean like it kinky hell yes they do. Emma had a pair of handcuffs on her bed and well……lets say Emma was the first to experience JT's dream of the bacon flavored condoms.

Luckily the police weren't too pissed when they came for Sean since Emma saved them some time, having Sean already handcuffed and such. This led Sean to believe they were attracted to him. Of course they were, they got to see Sean's penis; their lives were forever changed.


End file.
